PoopSecret

Sudden blockage

2008-09-03T10:57:00.004-04:00

My friends,

You may have noticed the lack of updates. Unfortunately, my absence results from having no new content to post here.

After a promising drip-drip-drip of poop stories, contributions to the site have slowed. Meanwhile, readership has grown exponentially. So you could say we are experiencing extreme content constipation.

The good news is that you and your friends can help by calling the PoopSecret Hotline (1-888-654-2278) to tell your story today. Instructions here.

Scatologically yours,
The Poop Librarian

P.S. Every dog owner in my neighborhood puts plastic-bag-wrapped dog poop in my apartment's dumpster every day when they take their dogs on walks. I guess it's just the most convenient dumpster on the street.

As I was typing this post, a garbage truck came by to pick up the dumpster, shaking up the massive pile of communal dog poop. And now an aerosol cloud of stink is swallowing my apartment. Gag.

"We had this pair of scissors that you kept by the toilet"

2008-08-21T22:39:00.006-04:00

An Ohio man tells two stories of making do under less-than-ideal poop conditions. His wife laughs in the background.

Boomp3.com

Does Elisabeth Bumiller have it in for McCain?

2008-08-21T22:33:00.004-04:00

Subtle potty humor in the New York Times, spotted by Autumn:

Could this be the reporter's act of spite, driven by years of shame living with the name "Bum-iller"?

Alas, as every journalism student knows, copyeditors - not reporters - write the headlines.

"fyi, i had some serious gastrointestinal issues all weekend"

2008-08-19T16:19:00.002-04:00

An awesome personal tale of woe:

so, i had this stomach virus, and after two weeks of consuming nothing but crackers (and not being so successful getting those through the door, so to speak) some weird family doctor in Clintonville sent me home with a couple of jars. my directive? to collect a sample.

but these were no ordinary jars. these were huge jars. and i had to fill one of them to a certain line. kinda like some horrifying Double Dare challenge — only the stakes were much, much higher. to this day, I have never met a mortal ordered to accomplish such a task. even maybel the bulldog is spared such demoralizing demands when i take her to the vet’s office. she only has to fill a small baggie with with stuff. i met a girl once who had to collect a swab, but never a jar.

Read it all. (Hat tip.)

"We broke down by the side of the road in Waldo, Ohio."

2008-08-05T21:36:00.007-04:00

A woman traces the history of a family quarrel.

PoopSecret Hotline

2008-07-29T22:59:00.008-04:00

PoopSecret is now collecting poop stories from around the world. You can call in anonymously to tell your tale of woe, strangeness, or hilarity. The stories will be posted here.

To record:

1. Dial Gcast toll-free at 1-888-654-2278.
2. When you're asked to enter the number you registered with, type in 800-OMG-POOP (800-664-7667).
3. Enter the four-digit PIN, which is POOP (7667).
4. Tell your story. You may listen to the story when you have finished and re-record as many times as you want.
5. Press pound (#) to save your story.

NOTE: Your story will get the best audio quality if you record from a land-line phone. If that means you have to sneak into the spare office at work to make the call in secret, consider it your contribution to great art. But, if you absolutely must call in by cell phone, go ahead. The Poop Librarian is still accepting cell phone entries - for now.

Your story may be edited for clarity and content. The good news is that your "um"s will be taken out and you'll sound smooth, like the NPR people.

Poop problems

2008-07-29T22:34:00.004-04:00

The (Raleigh) News & Observer reports:

CHAPEL HILL - It happens.

Tons of it, accumulating with every toilet flush.

But agreement on wastewater residuals -- what's left of sewage after treated water is discharged back into rivers and streams -- pretty much stops there.

(More.)

Poop in the news

2008-07-14T22:42:00.004-04:00

Grist asks, "Haven't you turd? We'll take this crap: a portable cardboard poop-box, complete with degradable doo bags and cute li'l turd pic."

Manure thief falls into dung, flees naked
"A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said Friday."

Union anger at 'Dickensian' toilet policy
Not so funny: "A meat company has been branded Dickensian after forcing its employees to clock-off every time they want to go to the toilet."

This Japanese potty-training video is not news. Whatever. (via)

"We would take the dog poop sculptures and put them in strategic places"

2008-06-29T21:57:00.007-04:00

Town Hall

A woman remembers how she and her brother kept themselves entertained as kids in the suburbs.

boomp3.com

"I started feeling this immense pressure."

2008-06-21T15:13:00.006-04:00

401 E. Poplar Ave.

"Roger" remembers a surprise attack that struck as he was walking along a busy road on a summer day.

boomp3.com